Hey, I’m Colette. Grab a cup of coffee and hang out awhile. I’m so glad you’re here!
I have been guilty of “checking-out” of my life.
For years, I have struggled with direction. In college, I changed majors three times, only then to transfer schools. It took me 7 years to finish my BS and let me tell you, it felt like BS sometimes. Then I married a wonderful man who also had a significant mental illness which made the first few years quite difficult. I can tell you when we got fired as youth pastors and I spent a month watching The Vampires Diaries. I know how to check out when things get tough.
Why am I telling you this?
Well because it the midst of all this I was struggling to understand where God was in all of it. As a Christian, I fully believe that God is in control, that Jesus loves me, and that the Holy Spirit dwells in me but in my experience, I felt like the Holy Trinity took a lunch break when things got tough and I was left to deal with the shattered parts of my life solo.
This faith in Jesus has this way of crashing into my life leaving me exposed and confused; my first tendency is to hide. Even when I profess with my mouth that I know God loves me, do I really believe it? Does my life really reflect it? I still have about a 50-50 chance that when I experience pain or anxiety, I will either go to the Grotto to pray or drive straight to Wendy’s and watch Netflix the rest of the afternoon.
There are a lot of awesome blogs and books out there addressing the lies we believe about ourselves. I will touch on these a bit but what I am the most passionate about and what has gotten me off the couch, is recognizing the lies I believe about God. To know God truly is to truly know ourselves. When Jesus walked this earth, He was the fullest expression of humanity.
To be truly human is to be like Jesus.
The reason why my faith felt like it kept clashing and crashing into my life is that I believed God would bless my efforts, that God would approve my plans, and that He would deliver me from suffering. But He didn’t and He won’t still, and that’s a hard pill to swallow. And so we begin to believe the lies that God isn’t loving or near or for us.
When we form our theology around our stories it is hard to swallow and God gets widdled down to “girlfriend status”: nice to talk to but ultimately powerless to help us. But when our theology is formed around the truths about God we can walk through those times of pain and confusion, and instead of checking-out (or punching a hole in the wall) we actually find that we can rest, that we can trust, and that we can get off the couch and keep living our life because we are living in the story God is writing.
That’s what this blog is about. I may still have a 50-50 chance of eating a cheeseburger or connecting with God through Centering Prayer when life gets shitty but I believe that God is good no matter what because my theology is not founded on my story, it’s founded in the person of Jesus Christ.
This blog is my journey of reinforcing this truth through my writing and the scripture memory plans I create, and whatever else I can get my hands on. I’m so passionate about this, I am even getting my Masters of Divinity! So I hope that you can join me on this journey of moving from a story formed theology to the deep and beautiful truths about God that move us from the checking out on the couch to living life fully in Christ