Learning To Unknow

Unknowing. The means by which I will enter greater faithfulness in this season. I am invited to recognize my lack of understanding and I am invited to join the One who holds all understanding. But this invitation isn’t to a feast in which the banquet table is full of all the knowledge I can eat, but rather, it is an invitation to join the Host for dinner, taking what is served and not asking for more but trusting I will receive what is necessary. In western tradition at least, a guest often doesn’t dictate the meal nor the quantity of said meal when arriving at a guest’s home for dinner. Likewise, in my pursuit of understanding I find that I am led to less dictating what will happen and more reliance on Christ to provide what is needed when it is needed in my pursuit of understanding.

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Broken-Hearted and Still Showing Up: It’s Complicated

For some time now I have been in a very complicated and emotionally-fraught relationship with my mother the church. In my youth she was a caretaker, teacher, and the frequent preparer of my daily bread. When, in the course of raising me, she occasionally revealed some of her more oppressive tendencies, my child’s heart read them as cute little quirks. When I felt her stings, I characterized the wounds as inadvertent and likely the result of my own disobedience. My perspective was reasonably small.

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The Practice of Abiding

I don’t hold onto faith, Faith holds onto me. At the end of this life, I don’t get to pat myself on the back and say “Good job! Way to stick with it, Colette. It got rough but you hung in there!”. The moment I believed in the person of Jesus, that anchor dropped and wedged itself firmly beneath me. He holds onto me and praise God for that! My fragile and fickle life is a tiny dingy on this vast ocean, fully exposed to anything that may come my way and the only thing that keeps me from drifting off into desolation is the massive steel chain that hangs off the side. When I take the time to contemplate and reflect upon my story of faith thus far, I see this so clearly…

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Glass Houses

“They live in a glass house,” I overheard someone say about our pastors when I was a child. I imagined the beautiful glass house in my mind. It must be in the woods, I thought. Could they view the sunset through the trees? Instead of television, I pictured them watch squirrels hunt for acorns from the comfort of their living room recliners.“We live in a glasshouse, Kelly,” a snarky adolescent me was told, as I rolled my eyes in church. By then, I understood the implication of those words. Translation: As a pastor’s kid, everything I did and said was a representation of our family…

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Get To Work And Let It Be

I long for structure these days; boundaries and routines. These got pulled out from under me when the Pandemic hit back in March. It’s now the end of June and my life feels like a swamp rather than the above picture of neatly plowed fields, each with their own design and purpose. My friend Camille says to look for the things that spark life in me to help me trudge through the swamp. Clues to get me from one mossy stone to the next.

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The Thanksgiving Feast

One day a beautiful envelope arrived with my name on it and a royal wax seal. Hand written in golden-red ink on thick cotton paper, it smelled like frankincense. It read:

You are invited to The Thanksgiving Feast ~ No one has ever served a feast this sumptuous, on a table more exquisite, to more worthy guests. The bread and wine served will consist of priceless ingredients grown, crafted and served by the Host himself. The nourishment of this feast procures eternal life for all who eat it.
If you accept, please come to the church when you receive this letter.
You must leave everything behind.

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Faith Resilience

Hello, friends! I feel honored, excited, and nervous to sit at this table. Each of the women here are hopeful writers, and influential female voices. When discussing faith and theology, I scooch in beside dear friends who know and love me deeply. My inner child beams while watching older women I admire. My inner teenager sits down cautiously, and looks around the lunch table. Everyone’s invited, but does everyone truly belong?

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There’s nothing ordinary about Grace

We are a few weeks into Ordinary time, a season of the church that stretches from Pentecost to Advent. The term ordinary is misleading, there is nothing common place about this season. The term comes from the latin word ordanalis which refers to numbers in a series. Since Ordinary Time is quite lengthy, the Sunday’s are numbered to aid us in our forward movement in the church calendar year. This season is one of remembering and celebrating the coming of the Holy Spirit and the growth of God’s Church. This is the time when we recognize the power of our risen Lord at work in our lives and in the world.

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10 Things I learned this spring

I feel awkward and perhaps a little ashamed to write about things I have learned these past few months with our country being in such upheaval with the death of multiple blacks Americans. Not to mention that we are still in the middle of a global pandemic that has changed the shape of 2020 and our lives entirely. Yet I have to write, it’s the only way I know how to best process all the swirling thoughts and ongoing ideas that keep me up at night. It calms my mind and connects me back to myself, and most importantly, it connects me to God.

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Making Room For The Stranger: Biblical Hospitality

I resisted writing this blog about hospitality not because I don’t think the topic is important but because my brain is fried due to being in quarantine so long. I can’t even begin to write about what it means to practice hospitality when we can’t even have people in our homes! Yet biblical hospitality calls us to something entirely different. It is far more than just baking a pie and sitting around a lovely set table, it’s about welcoming the stranger and feeding the hungry.

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