Last Wednesday was the worst. It started out fine until once again it hit me: I’m pouring all the energy into my work and finding it producing very little fruit. And what I mean by fruit is MONEY. I don’t need to make a ton, just enough to pay my mortgage and get my hair done.
The tail spin of doubt begun with looking at our budget and playing around with the numbers. Then looking at Instagram, knowing I had to post for my business but procrastinating because the energy-out isn’t matching the energy-in. I realize it takes time: to build a business, an audience of readers, even my pastoral career. My head well knows this and continues to remind me but the anxiety I feel in my body also reminds that I’m walking on thin ice.
Self-doubt leads to God-doubt which then leads to total and complete paralysis for me. When I get in this space there are a few things I must do to move from doubt into trust; trusting once again in myself and in the God who has always, ALWAYS comes through.
And I really mean move. Get up, take a shower, make the bed, pour yourself another cup of coffee. Take an hour to reset by simply moving. This could be a walk or running to the grocery store for a few ingredients you need. Doubt manifests itself in our thought life and gets stuck there but we are more than a walking brain, we are flesh and bone. Move that body God gave you to help get out of your head.
Self-doubt hates company. Call or meet with a friend. I ended up calling a friend that morning and in just a few short minutes, I could feel the weight being lifted and trust being restored. Sometimes we just need another’s perspective to enable us to begin trusting once again. Your first step, is actually trusting in a friend which can move you to begin trusting in God and in yourself.
Start with ONE THING. Do whatever is on that to-do list. Now that your hair is done, the bed is made, fresh cup of coffee in hand and a loving friends words in mind, now do one thing on your list. No matter how small: just open that job search site or email that person back or print off that meal planning list. DO ONE THING.
I put this last on purpose not because I think it should be last but because of how many times people say “just pray about it” but offer very little guidance. I didn’t want to turn you off to this post before it even got started. BUT PRAYER is essential in moving from doubt to trust. Why? Because pray is less about “getting stuff or answers” and more about relationship. Remember how self-doubt hates company? Well there is no greater company than the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit! Spend time talking to God about your doubts, He’s listening.
When I find myself in a spiral of self-doubt, these keys things are essential in helping me brave forward in whatever I have set before me that day. They are not some magical formula but they are what work for me! I would love to hear what works from you when you struggle with self-doubt. Comment below!